The one with Richard and Aumerle’s tentsex shenanigans is happy! You could do that one ;)
awwwwww yes this is true! and now I’m gonna because this is basically a request, I guess, kinda…
- INCOMING: PERILOUS BEETS
- Medieval hunting not involving birds of prey is another thing I can apparently get eyeball deep in and totally distracted from actual writing, yet retain nothing useful from — there was a series of essays that I’m still reading, Jacqueline Stuhmiller’s “The Hunt In Romance And The Hunt As Romance” (it looks like their dissertation? and it is fabulously fun reading) that kept making me want to write stuff about Edward of Norwich’s particular vested interest in hunting literature. If I’d included more meaty portions of the standard medieval hunting narrative, this fic would cover more time passing, but alas.
- I have no idea what the modern equivalent of this fic would be (besides idk, people still hunt, so?) Probably a ski vacation where Richard very conveniently sprains his ankle and then recovers in time to do all the ridiculous ski trails anyway as soon as he no longer needs a sneaky bangscuse.
- Sneaking off from family events to canoodle with your significant other seems to be a time-honored tradition (and even if Yorkdad doesn’t know, the Duchess has probably caught on) but when you’re the king, everything kind of stops in your absence and nobody wants to ask. (Shredsandpatches has proposed a coda to this where some other minions helpfully take Aumerle aside to remind him that tents are not the most soundproof of installations and that he’s not very good at being sneaky. Also, hickeys.)
- I have to say, researching how to gut a deer for a fic that was total PWP was not something I ever expected to have to do, but it was an enlightening experience. There were both diagrams and photographs. (And once again, pretty sure I remembered none of it clearly enough to incorporate it well.)
- The bit about Richard’s clothes smelling nice, but different from being packed in storage (and his hair smelling nice but tasting bitter — do not lick your sovereign’s hair, Aumerle) are both actual things — perfuming clothes while they’re being washed is one thing and keeping herbs with them in storage is another. The hair is more just hair, though. I’m writing something where Bagot licks Richard’s hair as of right now and Richard’s response is basically “wtf?” (Basically any time I think about medieval scents I make at least mental reference to Jadwiga Zajaczkowa's writings re. same, which is actually for SCA stuff but totally useful in a filthy porn context.)
- Aumerle invents the blowjob, but Richard invents diabolical BDSM games, so they’re even, I guess. Also lol I forgot I used the word “tool” in this sex scene, I am laughing.
and oh boy would hal ever exploit this
YOU KNOW I’M NOT SURE HE EVER DID, POP
SEEING AS HIS FATHER AND HIS GRANDFATHER WERE BOTH DEAD AND ALL
WHAT WITH THAT BEING THE STANDARD COURSE OF ROYAL SUCCESSION
"you are so grounded"
And then Hal, if he was being exceptionally witty, would make some pun about grounded and down and base court and bring up all of Henry’s guilt stuff.
hal is the worst but I am laughing, I am laughing
- Prince Hal: hi dad
- Henry IV: DON'T YOU HI DAD ME YOU HOOLIGAN
Vampire Richard II is here to drink all your wine and complain. Then he will surround himself with sanguine middle-aged politicians in tight pants and have a party.
Vampire Richard II is not at all different from non-vampire Richard II ;)
- mercutio: i can see what's happening
- benvolio: what?
- mercutio: and they don't have a clue!
- benvolio: stop
- mercutio: they'll fall in love and here's the bottom line -- our trio's down to two
- benvolio: people are dying